Wife Perspective

So we’re a little more than halfway through this journey of basic training, and I thought I’d take the liberty to write a little bit about my experience on the other end. Many of our friends and family ask how we’re doing—oftentimes it’s hard for me to put into words. But I’m going to try to give you some insight into our perspective here at home.

First of all, in some ways, things have been easier, and in other ways, things have been harder than I expected. I didn’t expect the small things to matter as much as they do. Those of you who are married, you know there are little nuances about your husband-wife relationship that can’t be put into specifics, but they’re a part of who you are as a couple. Of course there are general things that I miss about my husband that I imagine most people would in these same circumstances: saying goodbye in the morning and getting a welcome home kiss in the afternoon, and being able to call or text my husband about a question or just to say hello, having his help with caring for our son and helping to take care of things around the house. When you’re married, your spouse becomes such a part of who you are, you don’t even realize it until they’re gone.

I’ve also realized that the lack of communication has probably been the hardest part for me. We’re writing each other every day, but it’s not the same as being able to talk. I think I could handle the lack of Brian’s presence here better if I could talk to him more regularly, or at least have an expected time to talk. I never know when my phone is going to ring, and that unpredictability is hard for me. I also received a letter at the beginning of basic training indicating that in general Sundays are the day more likely for phone calls home. So that means that Sundays are a day of waiting for me, a little on edge, and a little paranoid about having my phone nearby and turned up. Yet on the Sundays like today that it doesn’t ring, it’s a huge letdown. I don’t even know what to compare the disappointment to. So now I will wait until next Sunday--hoping and praying for a call. If I get one next Sunday, that’ll be 3 weeks without talking.

I think that’s something God is trying to teach me through this experience: even though God wants us to be one as we’re united as husband and wife, He still wants me to fully rely on Him and not my husband. It’s very easy for me to want to tell my husband all about my day—my struggles and the highlights of the day. Yet, God wants me to share those things with Him too.

I also see God showing me what ministry is right before us to military families. I’ve had an incredible amount of support from our family, friends, and church family during this time. Countless people consistently ask how we’re doing, offer to eat a meal together, offer to watch our son for me to have a break, and are praying for us during this time. I cannot imagine how it would be to go through this experience without that support system. And our time frame is only for 10 weeks! ALL military families need that kind of support while a family member is away, whether for training, or for deployment.

On a silly, positive note, there has been less laundry, less cooking to do, and any mess around the house, I can only blame on myself. J

Another lesson I see God teaching me is how to have an eternal perspective. We are separated for these ten weeks, but that’s not very long in the grand scheme of life. Also, God has been reminding me of the importance of Brian’s witness to the other PVTs at basic training. I know there are soldiers at BCT that do not have a relationship with God, and God has placed Brian there to interact with them and show them how much a relationship with God means to him and his life. If Brian’s friendship with someone helps that person to believe in Jesus and seek a relationship with Him, it is worth the time apart. What a small sacrifice for us to make—2 ½ months apart for someone to spend an ETERNITY with Jesus. So that is how I’m continuing to pray…for Brian to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit and the opportunities given to him to talk with other soldiers about his faith. And for those soldiers to come to a saving knowledge of Jesus, how much He loves them, and how He wants to have a relationship with them.

Hopefully this provides a little insight into how it is at home. Thanks again to all of our family and friends that continue to pray for us and help us. We praise God for your support of our family!